Dakota's Duck

Dakota's Duck

Yesterday, I went to Bimart to pick up a few things, and of course I had to check out the dog toys. I didn't see anything in that department that appealed to me on her behalf, but being near the Christmas season, I checked out the soft toys meant for children. In one of the bins was a duck. A mallard to be precise. About twelve inches long, with a green head and orange feet, as mallards are meant to be. This was not a toy for children, but a toy for dogs, as the tag said. And it quacks when you squeeze the tummy.

I had already tried some of the squeaky toys in the dog department, and I knew that I would soon be screaming if I gave any of those to my year-old pup. EEKY-EEKY, over and over and over again is not a good way for me to spend the day. Plus, I work at home, work that takes some concentration, and I really like my new dog, Dakota, a 55-pound white shepherd mix, and I didn't want to have to kill her anytime soon.

Duck sounds are good. A deep, low, gutteral, uck-uck-uck. I can live with that. Unfortunately, when I got home. Dakota had been a very bad girl. She had pooped on the floor in the living room. She had peed on my bed. On my bed, fer crissakes! That was nearly enough for me to want to superglue her little pee-pee shut! I checked online and there were all sorts of opinions and theories. We went to the vet, they tested her pee. We're going to dog training next week.

So, back to the mallard. The next day, being a forgiving sort, I offered the duck to Dakota. She sniffed it carefully. Then I squeezed it. Gutteral uck uck. She ran like hell. My house is small, so she couldn't go far, but she could get behind a wall between the kitchen and the living room. "Dakota!", I called. She peeked out from the hallway. I wiggled the mallard and squeezed, "uck, uck". She ran like hell.

Okay....I'm not about to let $7.49 go to waste. I call her again. She peeks around the corner again. I wiggle the mallard again. No squeezing this time. She looks. She backs away. I wonder, and not for the first time, just what kind of childhood this dog had before I got her. Carefully, she peers out into the kitchen where I'm standing with the duck in one hand, laughing my ass off. I don't mean to be rude, but really.....

No way would she come and take that duck. This is not the first stuffed toy I've given her. I even gave her my RCA Victor dog, and she acted like it was a spiritual experience as she carefully took it into her mouth, and chewed softly. She didn't let that one go all day, and even brought it into her bed that night. But the duck scared her spitless.

Finally, I sat down with the duck, now silent, in one hand, while I petted her with the other. After awhile I just dropped the duck and went back to work. A few hours ago, she brought the duck into my office, wagging her tail. Just a few minutes ago, I heard uck, uck, uck from the living room. Guess we've got a new mallard, too!